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[01 Nov 2005|01:04am] |
OH MY GOD.
they have The Angry Beavers complete 63 episodes on dvd.
THE WHOLE FRIGGIN SHOW IS ON DVD.
i loved that show. its SO FUNNY. my beta fish's name is Norbert.
but its $55.
but my god, it would be so worth it.
to buy... or not to buy...
they also have The Adventures of Pete and Pete, Clarissa Explains it all, ROCKOS MODERN LIFE, and Salute Your Shorts! Oh man, im way too excited. i think i need to buy Rocko too. i LOVE old school nickeloden.
this is making me feel so old. that all my shows from my childhood are coming out on dvd. like if you told some 13 year old about The Angry Beavers today, they'd be like... what the fuck? and thats just strange. i feel like how my mom will be like "oh that show on tv when i was a kid..." and ill have absolulty no idea what she was talking about. yea, thats us now. im old!
and end rant.
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[31 Oct 2005|11:22pm] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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music |
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spitalfield - kill the drama |
] |
happy halloweenie everyone.
so shamus's condo halloween party on Saturday was awesome. lots of new people, 150 jello shots, and a keg. and lots of yummy food. the only thing that sucked was that it was FREEZING out, so everyone pretty much moved inside to random condos, so we condo hopped. bunch of people ended up in shamus's place and we started the beer pong tournaments. i am very proud to say that me and my partner, brian (one of shamus's neighbors) were undefeated! woot for us. usually im absolutely terrible at beer pong, but i kicked some major ass. did i also mention that i sunk the winning cup for our team every time? woot for me =) while playing beer pong, i sucked down over 30 jello shots, with a straw, because jello through a straw makes the coolest noises. yea... im really immature.
all that mixing caught up with me at around 3 in the morning. yea... that wasent fun. i tried passing out on shamus's bedroom floor, but he found me. we had a typical emo drunken conversation, and then went back to the party, and all was well. i don’t think any of us got to bed till around 5.
i loved my costume. i kept smacking people with my wings though. i have a few pictures, but i dropped my digital camera about 20 times during the night in my drunken stuper, so its very broken... which means i cant upload the pictures. blah. im going to have to get it fixed this week, so maybe ill post the pictures.
but all in all, it was such a fun night of a bunch of people just being dumb and relaxing and having a great time. i missed being social with new people. i should really do that more often, and not be such a hermit.
in other news, i got a 90% on my radiology quiz that i took last week. i cannot remember the last time i got a 90 on a test in my life. so im pretty damn happy. just praying that i can pull that off on my midterm =/
and in bad news... the guy that was suposto buy the café backed out of the deal on Friday. 3 weeks before the closing date. so fucking terrible. i am forever doomed to spend my entire weekends waitressing. and my family is forever doomed to be extremely poor. so now we are probably gonna be stuck there all winter when business is dead. plus, our rent is suposto go up another $1,000 in the next few months. soooo... we're doomed. things will go back to being terrible soon enough.
meh, anyway. im going to see Thrice tomorrow in the city at Roseland, anyone else going? should be good times!
thats all thats really going on.
i have to go clean my fishys water.
im out!
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[25 Oct 2005|01:35am] |
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mood |
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 hyper |
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music |
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30 seconds to mars - battle of one |
] |
P>yea so, I’ve been listening to 30 seconds to mars a lot lately, and they're really really good. if you haven’t checked them out yet... then do so.</p>
so i was looking at their website and just screwing around, and i watched their music video for "attack". as im watching, im like... wow, the lead singer is really fucking sexy, and he looks very familiar. so, i go to their biography and get his name, and ALAS... he is Jared Leto! the guy from My So Called Life, and Requiem For A Dream, and FIGHT CLUB<3, and that new movie thats going to come out soon that i don’t know the name of, and lots of other stuff! Am i retarded for not realizing this? Because knowing me, im the last one to find that out. And im not sure why, but im really impressed by this. I guess because its some big movie star guy being in a not-that-popular (yet) band? He has an amazing voice, and they're just SO GOOD. And he's very pretty. Look how pretty!
Im still really mad at myself for not paying attention to them when i saw them live. I hate it when you find out how good a band is after you've seen them, and then it takes them forever to go on tour again. plus, they were walking around in the crowd and had a signing and everything. i guess its good that i didnt know jared leto was the singer? Because someone would have to peel me off of him as i raped him against the wall. =)
alright, im being a total girl now. im never like this. this is an exception. because hes fucking gorgeous. but ok, im done now.
its almost 2am, and im SO hyper. im like... vibrating with energy. i really don’t know what to do with myself. tomorrow is my first day back at the office, and I’ve definitely fell out of the habit of waking up at 7:30am while I’ve been off. yea, tomorrow morning is gonna suck.
im very excited for Halloween. shamus and his neighbors in his condo complex are throwing a party. should be awesome, because all of his 27 year old and up neighbors are bigger kids than i am. shamus and i are in charge of making the jello shots. we already made our practice batch... and consumed them, yay. i wanted to have a cheap costume, so i just bought a pair of black and purple glittery bat wings with little pointy batty ears. then for the rest of the costume, im basiclly gonna dress like a whore ::shrugs:: black knee high boots, purple fishnets, i think im going to get a purple corset, yea. i actually wont be that bad, but for me... ill feel like a whore, cuz well, i dress far from a whore (yay for hoodies). Halloween is a great excuse to dress like a whore and get wasted. i look forward to it.
ill probably spend all of next weekend working at the cafe. i may have to work the night of the party actually, which in that case, someone will die. it would be very nice if i could get out of working all together, since i always spend all my weekends working. plus, i have my midterm on Monday, so i would really like to study. working for my parents can be pretty terrible. i cant just be like "no i don’t feel like working" or make up some excuse to not show up to work. I’d feel bad to do that to them anyways. it just sucks because i always get screwed over when we're short handed on help or someone doesnt show up to work.
in the last few days I’ve caught up with quite a few people that i haven’t talked to in awhile. it’s a nice feeling to know even though i don’t talk to many people anymore, they still think about me. i miss a lot of people, but i guess separation just sort of takes its toll. im always shy to call up someone i haven’t spoken to in awhile, i usually wait for them to make the first move, which is lame on my part, but yea. i really need to make more of an effort with people. i never used to be this antisocial. i think id be a lot more happier if i wasent such an over-worked hermit.
so as always, i don’t have anything interesting to update on. im too lazy to proofread this entry, so im sure its very choppy and retarded, and my lack of spelling skills will shine.
im probably gonna go dance around my room untill i pass out or something
gnite all!
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[13 Oct 2005|11:43pm] |
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mood |
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 relaxed |
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music |
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30 seconds to mars - attack |
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so i saw these guys about a month ago in the city at The Used show. i really didnt pay much attention to them, mostly due to the fact that i was still pissed that i paid $30 to see glassjaw, and they dropped the show to reschedule it for the next night. gay. but anyway, yea. i didnt really pay attention to them. shamus and i basically spent the entire time they were on stage making fun of them, cuz they were all cult-like. plus, the venue i saw them at (i forgot where it was) was huge, and everything just echoed all over the place, so it sounded like shit. but now i gave them a second chance, and my god, they are fucking good. i definitely recommend them. they’re sorta different too, which i needed. im getting bored of my music. this cd is amazing.
of course, what i failed to realize when i bought the cd is that on the cover, it says "content protected". so basically, not only will it not upload into itunes, but i cant even play it on my computer. pissing me off. i bought it so i could just dump it into itunes, put it on my ipod, then throw the cd somewhere and not worry about it again. i dunno, i think there taking this copyrighted thing too far. it says on the back of the cd that it is compatible with cd and dvd drives, and it says it can be burned up to 3 times, but its not working at alllll. RAWR. i did not spend $300 on an ipod for them to turn around and pull this kind of shit. because now, instead of buying cd's at all (which i normally do), im just gonna download them all of the internet so i wont have to deal with this content protected shit. sort of a loose loose situation for the music industry yes? blah.
anyway, I’ve been studying like crazy for my test on Monday. 4 chapters worth of information. i really want to do well, and past the state board test the first time i take it. if i do, my grandfather will pay me back the money i paid for the class. that would be excellent.
we got Gatino's ashes back today. it made me cry all over again. the place that does the cremations put him in a very nice little box, and sent a card with him... with a little story on how pets mean so much and pet heaven and how we'll all be together again. well, it wasent as lame as i jsut made it sound. it was actually very nice and made me feel better (and at the same time made me cry harder). it also had his name on it with our names, and the date he passed away. i thought it was so kind that they did all that. they don’t make it seem like it was just a pet or animal. they really made it like you lost a member of your family. the vet also sent us a sympathy card. i know they do it for all pets that pass away, but still, it made me feel better to know that these people do care for other peoples pets. when i first found out he was going to be cremated it freaked me out. i really didnt want to do it. but now, im sort of glad we did. i guess its just nice to know he is still with us at home.
just so happens that last week, shamus's little cousins found a stray kitten. they arent allowed to keep it, so i may go check it out this weekend. im all for animal shelters, and i would really like to rescue a cat from one, but for those places to push adopting an animal from them so much, they really make it very difficult. for them to even consider giving my family a cat, they would have to meet the entire family, i would have to bring my dog in, and basically go under this hardcore evaluation. its crazy. back in the day we tired to adopt a puppy, and they wouldnt let us have him because our yard wasent totally fenced in, and both my parents worked full time. soooo, instead, you rather have the dog sit there in a cage for weeks and weeks, and eventually put him to sleep because youre so picky about who is adopting him? makes sense.
on a happier note, I’ve waitressed everyday since last Saturday. in total, i have made $400 in tips, in a WEEK. i barley make $300 in 2 weeks assisting. so, can someone remind me why im trying to go to school for years and get a degree, when i could just waitress and be loaded? waitressing is amazing. i love my job.
other than that, life is totally boring right now.
i need to make some new friends. i need some sort of excitement.
i need to study for this test
im out.
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[09 Oct 2005|11:20pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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blindside - this is a heart attack |
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eh, im bored. i figured id update a bit.
things have been pretty rocky at home, as usual. things have been falling apart with the café. we finally convinced my father that selling it would be the best option. he is extremely unhappy about it, but he claims that when the contract is ready he'll sign it. right now we have 3 guys that want it, and were waiting for the contract to be written up. we're just praying that my dad doesnt fuck everything up. he tends to do that, with everything. a few months ago when we were trying to sell, it really made me sad. i thought id really miss it. but now... fuck that shit. im SO excited to get rid of it. its such a hassle, its always something to worry about, and im tired of giving up all my days off and all my free time to work there cuz none of these stupid kids who work for us ever show up.
i hate my father with a passion. i really don’t feel like going into it right now. he is so self centered and treats us like shit.
lester and i arent really dating so much anymore. we both decided it was time for a break. its just too far for right now, and both our futures are so up in the air, so its hard to plan a future together. but, hes still my best friend, and i love him to death, so all will be good =)
meh. last week we put Gatino to sleep. its sort of strange how it all happened. he was absolutely fine, but about 3 weeks ago he started acting strange. we pretty much figured out that he went blind in his left eye by shoving things infront of it, and he wouldnt even flinch. he also started walking in circles, like he had no idea where he was going. we figured it was just because he couldnt see out of his eye. but the circling kept getting worse, to the point where he would just fall down. he was walking into furniture, getting lost in the house, couldnt find his food bowl. last week he got really bad. he slept all day, didnt walk around (mainly cuz he had no idea where he was going), i don’t think he even realized who he was with when anyone in my family held him, no purring, nothing. no reaction to anything. he just sat, and stared into space. we took him to the vet, and she said he most likely had a brain tumor. she wanted us to take him to get an MRI, but the starting price for the MRI was $1200, plus the doctor fees. sadly, my family cant afford that, so we decided we would just leave him be until he got better, or got worse. he didnt eat for about 4 days, dropped all his weight (all 20lbs of him) and just didnt move, at all. so we did what we had to do. i was a mess. i was hysterical in the vets office and just couldnt control myself.
its such a terrible feeling. i feel like i killed my cat. it was so hard to say goodbye to him, and have to leave him in the room knowing that was the last time id ever see him. i just feel like shit that we couldnt have helped him more, and that it came down to money issues. i wish we had the money for the MRI and seen if it really was a tumor. i dunno if its pathetic or what, but its almost been a week and everytime i think about him, i still cry. he was the greatest cat ive ever met, so friendly and lovable, and such a great personality to him. and the fact that he was only 8 years old kills me. but... nothing i can do now i guess. i miss him terribly.
well... on a happier note...
im taking my course for my dental radiology licence. i have class every Monday from 6 - 10 (i have my midterm on halloween. kill.) so um, yea. thats that.
work at the office is alright. I’ve basically turned into the secretary bitch. im only assisting one day a week now, cuz she has 2 other assistants, because shes dumb. but once i get my licence, ill look for another job. as much as i hate doing paper work, im really starting to enjoy everyone i work with more, so its alright i guess.
yea so, sadly enough everything else in my life is the same.
i may be making an new live journal soon. i think i have some fucked up stalker people who read this one, and i don’t like fucked up stalker people who i don’t even know, so yea. oooor i may go friends only. eh, ill see, depends on how bored i get.
ok the end, gnite world.
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[15 Aug 2005|12:02am] |
IM DRUNK AND IM 20 YEARS OLD TODAY! ::does a little dance::
and a very happy birthday to lester yesterday. and yay for our weekend long birthdays) celebration. YAYAYAY.
end.
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[07 Aug 2005|11:45pm] |
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mood |
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MR. SHIIIIIVERRRRRRR |
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music |
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IM GLAD U SENT A LIIIIIINEEE, UPHORIAAAAAAA IS INDEARINGGGGG |
] |
yay for being drunk in illinois!
um... all my recent posts have been about me being drunk. does this make me an alcoholic? i cant spell even when im sober? yea.
yea ill update later
yay fore listening to glassjaw while intoxcicated
WEEEEEE ok bye
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[03 Jul 2005|02:29am] |
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mood |
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weeeeeeee!FDKLSFJKLDSAJ |
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music |
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mcr goodness |
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im so fucking druni ajnd its excellent =ZD
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[27 Jun 2005|07:01pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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fall out boy - 7 minutes in heaven |
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( i have an addiction... )
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[23 Jun 2005|11:49pm] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
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music |
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silence |
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well les left yesterday. as always, it was sad. and as always, I try to choke back my tears in the airport and I fail. his visit was pretty short, but we had a good time. we went mini golfing and watched a bunch of movies, and went to a bunch of malls, and ate a lot (just what I need to do =P), and we went to the aquarium in Camden which was awesome and I shall post pictures once im not so lazy, and yea. it was nice just fartin around and having no big plans. but what did suck was I was having my monthly friend for half the trip, and then I was dying with some random cold the other half. yay for my body hating me.
but I feel like this trip we werent all mushy and shit. it felt more like we were best friends. its cool how we can either be super gross mushy, or just be stupid and be best friends and not have to hang all over eachother and stuff. I mean I love that he's my best friend and we can act that way together, but I guess I just really missed the "romanticness" that we havent had in so long because of not seeing eachother. just wish we could have had more boyfriend and girlfriend time with eachother.
I feel like such a girl. I hate it.
today is our 2 year anniversary. unfortunately he couldnt stay the extra day so we could spend it together. we really didnt even celebrate it at all when he was here. I havent even spoken to him yet today because I’ve been working, and now he's hanging out with his brother. in about 10 mins our anniversary will be over and we havent even talked. in a way im sort of disappointed. not at him... just at the situation I guess? I know its dumb that I care, but I care about these stupid little things. meh, maybe im just being too girly and expecting too much. I wish I didnt care so much, but I do. just sorta felt like it didnt mean much of anything.
thinking about this is making me grumpy. moving on...
I went to go visit the other dentist I worked for ("dr. nice") in her new office today since we closed up early. im so jealous. her office is so nice, and shes SO NEAT and I love it, because my current boss is such a slob, and is so unorganized. I cant keep up with the cleaning after her and trying to keep her room in working order. she has all new equipment, and digital x-rays, and its awesome. and she offered me a job, because her current assistant doesnt have working papers or something and she doesnt want her, and she said she would pay me a lot more than im making with my current boss, especially after I get my x-ray licence. im so tempted to take her up on it, but I feel bad to leave my current job. so much has happened there in the last few months and my boss is driving herself crazy trying to keep the practice from falling apart. plus, if I left, they would all know I was going to work for dr. nice. ahhh its so tempting though! gotta put some thought into this.
yea, so I worked from 9am till 11pm straight today (minus the hour I took to go visit dr. nice). I havent done that in awhile. im fuckin tiiireeddd. and my stupid ipod wont update. it keeps saying the battery is dead, but its not, because its plugged in. bastard.
sleeeeep.
im out.
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[14 Jun 2005|07:22pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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finchy goodness - a piece of mind |
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YOU
[Spell your first name backwards]: einahpets
[The story behind your user name]: lucky boys confustion song
[Where do you live?]: springpatch livingston NJ = gay.
[4 words that sum you up]: they would all be negative, so no.
DESCRIBE YOUR
[Wallet]: fossil, black, pretty empty!
[Hairbrush]: black... yay?
[Jewelry worn daily]: ring and necklace given to me by the wonderfull boyfriend, watch, ring i bought in italy, earings, body jewelry.
[Shoes]: the $3.50 only navy flip flops that i have about 6 pairs of in assorted colors, and my roos.
[Handbag]: gap, kacki(sp?) colored, its nice and big.
[Favorite top]: this pink shirt i got from target a few days ago, so comphy!
[Favorite pants]: ae jeans or l.e.i.s
[Cologne/Perfume]: dont really wear any, cuz i dont smell =P
[CD in stereo right now]: finch - say hello to sunshine<3
[Piercings]: double lobs, cartilage in left ear, snug in right ear, tounge, boobies!!!.
[What you are wearing now]: a blue 'the starting line' tshirt that got some bleach on it, and my pokadot pj pants.
[Hair]: up
[Makeup]: eyeliner, mascara, chapstick! love the chapstick.
[In my mouth]: tounge ring, teeth, tounge, spit, the usual.
[In my head]: thinking of everything i SHOULd be doing right now.
[Wishing]: it was TOMORROW! =D
[After this]: changing fishys water, then vacuming
[Talking to]: im by my lonesome
[Fetishes]: dirty boys, eyes, stomachs, piercings, tattoos
[Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months]: not much? going to chicago, finch show in august, my birthday...
[The last thing you ate?]: salad at lunch
[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]: death. ha! how ironic.
[Do you like candles]: yea, but i hate spending the money on something im just gonna burn.
[Do you believe in love]: mmhm
[Do you believe in love at first sight]: lust.
[Do you believe in forgiveness]: as hard as it is sometimes, yes.
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: elephant, a baby one.
IN THE PAST 24 HOURS
01. Cried: nope
02. Bought something: few new shirts, and more old navy flip flops =)
03. Gotten sick: nope
04. Sang: ben i always sing when im by myself
05. Eaten: i love food... too much.
06. Been kissed: nah
07. Felt stupid: always
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didnt: nah
09. Met someone new: sorta i guess
14. Had a serious talk: at work i guess
15. Missed someone: GAH!
16. Hugged someone: yes, hugs are amazing.
17. Fought with your parents: "squabbled" with my mom yesterday about school and the lack of it.
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: dont think so.
SOCIAL LIFE
01. Best friends that are girls: im not really friends with girls, but the few that i have are the best ones, yea.
02. Best guy friends: les and shamus
03. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: leeeeeeeessss
04. If no, current dating partner:
05. Hobbies: music, drivin, hanging out, um... nothing really? i work too much to create a life for myself.
06. Pager: negative.
07. Are you center of attention or the wallflower?: neither. id say im a happy medium?
08. What type automobile do you drive: a 99 black honda civic coupe. his name is muk. we have a love-hate relationship.
09. What type automobile do you wish you drove: firebird with ram air, acura rsx, anything with a V8 will do.
10. Would you rather be with friends or on a date: depends, but probably friends.
11. Where is the best hangout: i dont really have any "hangouts" but les's house, or shamus's place.
12. Do you have a job: 2 bitches.
13. Do you attend church: no
14. Do you like being around people: as much as i hate them sometimes, i always wanna be with them.
WHO
01. Have you known the longest: cheryl, since kindergarden.
02. Do you argue the most with: les, but its ok, cuz we're dating.
03. Do you always get along with: pretty much everyone, i avoid confrintations at all costs.
04. Is the most trustworthy: all of them? or i wouldnt be friends with them.
05. Makes you laugh the most: i hate these questions so much.
06. Has been there through all the hard times: les definatly.
07. Has the coolest parents: les and amanda
08. Has the coolest siblings: meh, i dunno
09. Is the most blunt: dunnooooo
10. Is the smartest: ok im frustrated.
PERSONAL
01. Who is your role model: dont have one.
02. What are some of your pet peeves: the snobby rich assholes who live in this town, spoiled kids who think they're the shit cuz they drive cool cars or whatever, people who dont use BLINKERS while driving!!! com'on now, how fucking hard is it to just hit the blinker with ur pinkie 10 seconds before you turn?!?! people who do 65mph in the fast lane, judgemental people, snobby soccer moms who ALWAYS shoot me dirty looks even when im doing absolutly nothing... damn, this list could get very long.
03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: oh yea
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: ha...
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: eh, not sure, guess so?
06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): yes
07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: i love revenge, but im usually too chicken to do it.
08. Rather be dumper or dumped: dumper
09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup": relationship
10. Want someone you don't have right now: nah
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: yeah
12. Do you want to get married: mmhm
13. Do you want kids: pretty sure
14. Do you believe in psychics: lame.
15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: perrrrhaps
16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: ha! nothing. but if i had to pick, my eyes, and its always the thing i hate the most that i get the most compliments on. i hate my ass!
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: im such a little kid.
18. Are you happy with you: there are many things id like to change.
19. Are you happy with your life: i know its not as bad as i always make it. theres a lot of stupid shit that wont matter in time, but overall, id say im happy.
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: my weight. it drags me down SO much, and i honestly beleive i would be such a happier person if i could just loose it, and finally be happy with myself for once in my life, and actually have a self esteem and believe in myself.
the boyfriend is coming tomorrow, WOOT!!!!!
ever have a day at work where u feel like your running around in circles all day trying to get everything you need to get done, done? and then at the end of the day, youre just like... shit, i feel like ive got nothing acomplished cuz i have SO much more to do? yea. that was today.
this song makes me want to hump something ;)
ok im ouuuuuuuut!
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[12 Jun 2005|11:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 chipper |
] |
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music |
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finch - miro |
] |
im so bored. so I thought id do a little update.
I officially dropped my chemistry class, therefore, im taking a break from school all together. the chem class was too much to take as a summer course. learning 3 chapters a week of stuff that I’ve never seen before in my life was really overwhelming. I got a 100 on my first project, and was getting c's on my labs (along with the rest of the class) and failing all the tests. the way he figured out the grades, I would have needed 100's on all the rest of my tests to even get a c as a final grade, which wouldn’t have happened. it just sucked, because I was studying really hard and I really tried this time. but it was just too overwhelming to have to cram 3 chapters worth of info into a week, and then have a test on all of it the following Monday. so without chemistry, I cant apply for the dental assisting or hygiene program. I think it’s the best thing for me to take a break from school right now. my heart isent in it. id rather take a year and work my ass off, save up some money (since I have absolutely no money saved up), maybe move out, start somewhat of a life, and yea. if I do end up moving in with lester in a year, ill probably go back to school while he's doing his masters.
I sorta feel scummy not going to school. I feel like people are just gonna think I cant handle it so I quit, or im just lazy. and people are always like "you say you'll go back, but you wont". well fuck that. I WILL go back. school has never been my thing, ever since elementary school. and right now, I have too much going on in my life to have to work and go to school and actually do well at the same time. plus, without my parents helping me financially, I really need to work more to stay on my feet until I have a good chuck of money put away. this is what I wanted to originally do when I got out of high school, just take some time off and work, but everyone yelled at me not to. bah.
but in the fall, im gonna get my x-ray licence. I think its only a semester long. this way, ill get paid more at work, and it'll be very helpful if I go to look for another assisting job down the road. I like my job, so I really don’t mind working it full time. so yea, word.
um, my non exsistant thyroid. yea, so I went to a specialist a few weeks ago. she looked at my blood results and said that I really don’t have a thyroid. its there, but its doing absolutely nothing. she said thats why I’ve seen no weight loss results even though im eating right and working out since it controls the metabolism. so in other words... I don’t have a metabolism! yay for being fat. she also felt little node things on it. scarey stuff =/. so I have to go for an ultra sound in 2 weeks. the more I find out about this, the more scared I get. I never realized how important ur thyroid is. but all I can do right now is take this shit that im gonna have to take for the rest of my life, and wait. but hey, if they have to remove it, they'll just have to put me on lots of meds and ill have a super fast metabolism! every cloud has a silver lining, right?
well, in happy news, I get to see finch again! FUCKING YAAAAAY! Finch AND head automatica! WOO! August 17th, you should all go, cuz I said so!
and lester is coming over Wednesday!!!! I havent seen him since February. for all of you that complain you never seen your significant other and they live "so far away" and you can only see them every other week or something... I laugh at you =P try not seeing your boyfriend for 5 months, then we'll talk! good times shall be had. IM SO EXCITED =D!!!
but as always, my life is boring, so thats it.
im out!
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| "im leavin, im leavin, do me a favor dont eveeennn think of meeee nooowww..." |
[23 May 2005|12:48am] |
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mood |
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weeeeeblaaaaahhh |
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music |
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funeral for a friend - storytelling |
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im bored and lonley.
and SO sick of chemistry.
im starting my sugar busters diet thing tomorrow. the woman at curves told me she lost 10lbs on it in the first week. that would be some great motivation, but im not getting my hopes up on it. i still think weight watchers would be the best way to go for me, but yea, ill give this a shot.
oh, and if i dont work out every day this week, i want every single one of you to punch me in the face. kthx.
im sick of being fat, damnit.
my snug piercing is not happy. im scared it might be migrating or rejecting =/ im hoping its just pissy cuz i havent cleaned it with h2ocean in awhile. i need to go pick some up tomorrow and ask about my snug before my ear falls off or something.
i loooove this song <3
k im tired. gnite all!
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[20 May 2005|10:09pm] |
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mood |
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 lazy |
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music |
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36 crazyfists - slit wrist theory |
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eh, as usual... nothing much to update on.
on Monday I got to see FINCH for the first time in a non-stadium venue. and holy shit... it was amazing. def one of the best shows I have ever been too. they were at The Knitting Factory in NYC in the village. mapquest totally lied to us on how to get there, but shamus and his wondering (and scarey as hell) driving skills got us there in time. finch was SO GOOD! my god... nate's screaming is amazing. they played a bunch of new songs, and now im so excited for their new cd. it’s a lot heavier. there was this one new song... and it was just, wow. all he did was scream, and I cant even describe it. it blew me away. it was SOOO GOOOOD! and The Knitting Factory is the tiniest venue I have ever been to. there couldnt have been any more than like 150 people there. the bands barley fit on the stage. but being so tiny, ment I got to be really close up. no asshole security guards. ahhhh it was so amazing. finch is awesome live. I miss it, I wanna go again!
and other than that... my life sorta sucks.
im not sure how my chemistry class is going. I’ve been getting 70's on my labs. it always seems like im doing it right during class, plus ill work with other people and they get the same answers I do. its just going so quick. we covered 3 chapters in 4 days, and then had a test on the 3 chapters. it was open book, but we only had 45 mins to do it. not one person in the entire class finished the whole test. we're doing another 3 chapters this week, and probably another test again. its just moving so fast, and with the class being every night of the week... its really hard to keep up. and I hate Newark, with a passion. I hate the crowdedness. I hate how it takes me 20 mins to park every night. I hate the traffic going into Newark. Bah! my road rage is increasing because of going to school.
work is going alright. dr. nice has been gone for a little over a month. its not too bad without her, but I still miss her. my boss has been a lot nicer, and I actually enjoy working with her, when she doesnt tripple book patients. the office has just been so chaotic. so many new patients are coming, 2 new hygienists, the other assistant is leaving (im the only assistant again, fucking yay.) and yea. shes a nice person and all, but I think when it comes down to her operating the practice... she's so dense. I think I have a better understanding of business than she does. OH! but I got a raise =D a whole dollar, woo hoo! so im at $10 an hour. cant complain. maybe ill go for my x-ray licence in the spring or something... that'll get me another raise.
we may have another buyer for the café. some spanish dude. I think he may want to totally change it though. not sure how I feel about that. in a way, I would like someone to come along and just rip the entire thing out and make something completely new. it would be weird and sorta sad to see someone else running what we started and held onto for 9 years. but then again, I think it would be more sad to see the last 9 years of our lives completely torn up and just thrown away. meh, its depressing to think about. im gonna miss it when its gone.
im finally going to an endocrinologist this week for my gimpy thyroid. the last few times I’ve had my blood checked by my doctor, the numbers keep getting higher, when with the meds im taking, they should be getting lower. I did a lot of research on it the other night and found out a lot of things I didnt know. not only is it the reason why im fat (ok, not the entire reason im fat...) and cant lose weight, but it also said that it can cause anxiety, depression, the inability to focus and learn, and sleepiness. that would explain a lot! and I just thought I’ve been going psycho the last few months =P and I also read all the stuff about it leading to diabetes, and thyroid cancer which is the fastest spreading cancer, and all that fun stuff. yay for scaring the shit out of myself. so hopefully the specialist can get it all under control and I can lose weight and be smart and not die.
yea so, im staying this home this entire weekend so I can catch up in chemistry, clean my disaster of a room, and try to organize my life a little. its now 10:00 on Friday night and what have I done? nothing. I need to do 2 chem labs and finish a paper by Sunday. knowing me, ill get started Sunday night. im not good at this breaking old habits thing.
I’ve gotten a bunch of phone calls from people I haven’t spoken to in so long in the last few days. I should really call them back. yea, im bad at that too.
ok, nothing else to update on. time to waste more time and watch Super Troopers.
im outtttt
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[22 Apr 2005|04:01am] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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effing nyquil backfired on me. i took it around 11:30pm, its now 4am, and i havent slept AT ALL. tried watching dvds, didnt work. trying playing gamecube (i got this game thing that has all the old school sega sonic games on it, its so wonderfull), didnt work. tried wondering around, didnt work. I JUST WANNA sleeeeeep. im gonna feel even more shitty tomorrow cuz i didnt sleep! RAR! i wanna go out tomorrow and not feel like death! i hate being sick...
um, yea. i have absolutly nothing to update on.
monday is my anatomy final. it is going to be extreamly hard. if i dont pass this class, im dropping out of school forever, because i am NOT retaking it.
i cleaned my room today, i even dusted, yay! it looks so pretty all clean. AND while i was cleaning, i found $128 that i forgot i stashed somewhere. yea, thats def cool. even still, im broke. i still have to pay my bills for this month, and i have to get some part thingy replaced in my drivers-side door in my car for the window, which is gonna cost me $180 plus labor. suuucks.
MY GOD. i just wanna sleep, like... right now. GAH!
ok, lets try this again.
im out!
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[21 Apr 2005|12:15am] |
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[14 Apr 2005|11:27pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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music |
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less than jake - nervous in the alley |
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today, my lovley boyfriend sent me a dozen pink roses and yummy truffles to my job, for no reason =) it made me happy.
AND i did my taxes (all by myself!) and i am getting back $649! (thats a lot for me =P) i have to pay off my credit card debt of $300, and my $81 cell phone bill, and then the rest of the money i can play with (even though i really shouldnt) perhaps putting it twards new car speakers and a new pretty head unit? hmm...
im so fucking tired.
im out!
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[13 Apr 2005|09:50pm] |
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mood |
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 effin tired |
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music |
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a perfect circle - magdalena |
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I am currently recovering from a sleepless night, and my god... it sucks. I had a 74 question, 2 essay take home test for anatomy that I had to do this weekend, and I obviously left it till the last possible minute. I worked on that thing from 11pm till 8am STRAIGHT. no breaks, no sleep, nothing. it was so ridiculously hard. I figured it couldn’t be that bad since I could use my notes and books, but wow. it was intense. so at 8 this morning, I finished it, threw it across the room, and dove into bed. slept for about 3 hours, then dragged myself out of bed so I could study for my in-class anatomy test today. I HATE YOU ANATOMY! I’ve had a test in the class, in every class, for the past 2 weeks, and will continue to have them in every class till the end of the semester. plus a final. oh goodie. this class has taken over my life.
so im thinking about changing my major. again. for the 3rd time in my 2 years of college. im sort of taking a step down, but I think it’s the best thing for me right now. im thinking of putting off the dental hygiene and just sticking with dental assisting for now. the assisting is only a one year program, vs. the 2+ year hygiene program. plus, the hygiene program is all science classes, I mean... im going to be taking classes that dentists have to take. seeing how I failed out of chemistry this semester, and im struggling a lot with anatomy, I have a feeling I wont be doing very well in the hygiene program, especially taking 4 science classes at a time. plus, with the assisting program, I have all my prerequisites done already, I would only have to take 2 more science classes for the entire program, and all the other classes have to deal with instruments, sterilizing, all that in-office stuff. so I should do pretty well, since I know all of that stuff already from work. AND ill get my x-ray licence, which means more money. yay =) plus having the certificate will get me more money also. so I wont be so poor! then a few years down the road well im doing alright money wise, ill go back for hygiene and take the classes slowly, and not 4 or 5 at a time. so yea, I still have to look into it more, but ill see what happens.
I really wanted to post about the less than jake show last Thursday, but now im sort of too lazy. basically, there was a bunch of shitty opening bands, I have no idea who they were, but they all sucked. then we found out that hidden in plain view dropped out of the show 2 weeks before. I didnt mind so much, but shamus was really disappointed, due to the fact that they were the reason why he got a ticket to the show. but now that I have their new cd, I wish I had got to see them, but whatever. allister was really good. I was impressed. less than jake was amazinggg, I really liked them. and they played a bunch of songs that I totally forget existed, so that was exciting. but I think the best part of the night was when we were walking out in the parking lot in the rain, and I got the amazing idea to go jumping in puddles. I haven’t jumped in puddles in forever. I was running all over the place and full force jumping in huge puddles, it was awesome. frank and shamus didnt wanna join me, but shamus eventually did when I ran up to him and jumped in a big puddle right next to him. it was quite enjoyable. puddles were def the highlight of my night. then we went to eat at a diner, with my shoes and jeans totally soaked all the way above my knees. I smelled like wet dog =) plus the smell of cigarette smoke in my cloths from the show. it was attractive I tell ya.
I just found out that ill be working 8:30am - 11pm this Friday, plus work on Saturday. gah... it never ends. and the funny thing is, as much as I work, im still broke! awesome. this weekend is gonna suck.
p.s. this song is so sexy...
I need to watch some aqua teen...
im out!
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| "but i see, see through it all, see through, and see you..." |
[05 Apr 2005|12:47am] |
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mood |
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meeeeeh |
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music |
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a perfect circle - 3 libras |
] |
it really sucks that i rely on other people so much to make me happy
like if im sitting here by myself with no one to talk to, i get emo and lonely
all ive wanted to do latley is BE with people, like physically be with them
but unfortunately, the few friends i do have work as much as i do
and they live so far!
im so pathetically lonely right now
i need hugs
i suck
and im out
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[04 Apr 2005|01:35am] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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lucky boys confusion - broken |
] |
so this weekend was alright.
Friday was my first non-working day in a very long time. I spent most of the day doing stuff that needed to be done, not fun shit.
around 7 I drove over to shamus's place and we headed over to montclair for me to get my snug pierced. of course, the piercer didnt know what it was, but I explained it to him, and I showed him a few pictures of it that I printed offline. so he poked around at my ear and took a good look at it, and told me he didnt wanna do it cuz the angle of my ear, or something like that, and he said if it didnt heal right, it may deform my ear. I was so sad and disappointed because I was so excited to get it. but I sucked it up and just took his advice and we went on our way.
shamus and I headed over to the willobrook mall to eat at the cheesecake factory, which was packed, so we just farted around the mall and looked at all the things we cant afford to buy. always a good time =P
theeeen we went to houliihans (sp?) for some dinner and it was mad yummy, and I paid the check, because im just that nice. go me.
to sum up the rest of the night, shamus's friends came over to his place, we all drank, got drunk, and all was good.
Saturday I waitressed, and it sucked cuz there was no business. then I had a phone date with the boyfriend<3, which got cut short because I passed out. oops.
then todaaaay... I got my snug pierced! yea I wasent gonna settle for a 'no' from that piercer guy. I went to the place I got my nipples pierced at, because the woman that does the piercings there has been piercing for like 10 years, so I really wanted her opinion. plus she's really cool. so I went to her and explained what I wanted and I showed her the pictures. she said she's never done anything like that, but she was willing to give it a shot. she also said that it shouldnt disform my ear at all, and maybe the other piercer guy just said that to me cuz he was afraid to do it or something. however, she did tell me that if something did go wrong with the piercing, I could take the jewelry out and save it, and I can go back to her and have her pierce something else in my ear for free.
so she poked around and marked up my ear for a good 15 mins, trying to get the right placing so the needle wouldnt go out the back of my ear, and to make sure it would go all the way through. while she was marking me up, she kept reminding me that it would hurt like hell, just to make sure I wanted to go through with it. but she was all excited to do it since it was something she's never done, and her excitement made me even more excited, so I couldnt turn back.
she had me lie down so she could get a better angle, and because I told her I get really dizzy after piercing. I was getting so nervous cuz I knew it would hurt like hell, I almost asked the tattoo guy (who was also watching) if he would hold my hand, heh. so she clamped me, and stabbed me, and it didnt hurt NEARLY as much as I thought it would. it just sorta burned. but I felt totally fine, and I didnt get dizzy! I was so proud of myself for not chickening out AND not getting dizzy, go me =)
( my snuuuuug <33 )
it didnt stop bleeding for a good 10 mins, which sucked, but whatever. im sooo happy with it! and it made me feel really good that everyone else in the place thought it was cool and it was something they never saw before. she even wants me to come back in a few weeks so she can take a picture of it to put in the place. I feel special, haha.
so yea, its not as sore as I thought it would be, but im sure tomorrow morning it will kill, especially cuz I tend to toss and turn in my sleep. it keeps randomly bleeding which is worrying me, but hopefully it'll be better tomorrow. im so happy and I love it so much and YAY!
other than that, my life is boring, so I have nothing else to write.
THE END.
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